on being a decent human being

Today I had two different encounters with strangers that took me by surprise. And then I was sad, because I realized they weren't really all that surprising.


First, I was sitting in the waiting room at my ob-gyn's office (yes the location is relevant) when a woman came out of the exam room section of the office wheeling her around 2 year old daughter in a stroller. As a baby crazed individual pediatric nurse, I began smiling and chatting with the little girl and told her mom that she was super cute

The mom looked kind of tired, not shockingly since she was near the end of her second trimester and had a toddler, AND her appointment had to have been around 9:00. Meanwhile, while I'm acting like a stalker asking the 2 year old about her baby doll, another woman waltzes in and proceeds to accost this precious mom and her daughter. The little girl was presumably a mixed race baby, and this woman who came in started carrying on about this little girl's hair, about how the mom OBVIOUSLY didn't know how to do her daughter's hair (the mom was white) and that if she didn't know how to do her own baby's hair, she should start taking her to someone who did.

Um, what?

This mom handled this situation with so much grace, it was astounding. Mom just explained that they were running late this morning, that she did know how to style her daughter's hair, and then backed out of the office quickly and said "hope you all have a nice day!". I was then treated to a five minute diatribe about styling hair (including my own, which I have to admit I found offensive since I'm actually having a decent hair day and I actually really like my hair).

It's dark, but you get the picture.

The next incident was at Target (my favorite place on earth!). They have a new app, Cartwheel, that allows you to save coupons to your phone and have the cashier scan a barcode from your phone. As I watched, a woman snapped at her 5 year old daughter "to please STOP whatever you're doing", and then turned and said to the cashier, "Every single time I'm in your store, this app NEVER works. What is the point of developing an app if it's NEVER going to work?"  The cashier immediately got his manager, and in the meantime the woman opened the app, held out her phone, he scanned it...and gasp! It worked on the first try.

She turned to the rest of us in line and smiled and said, "Oh haha. How funny! I can't believe it worked this time!" No apologies to the sweet cashier or manager who were bending over backwards to solve a problem that never even occurred.

I'm the first one to admit I'm flawed. I have bad days, and I take things out on other people when I shouldn't. I had a reputation in high school for being the person that would get sent to the hostess if our table was taking too long, or asking to speak to a manager if the waiter wasn't up to par. I come home from work exhausted and snap at Sam all the time.

But see, I know what it's like to have people make rude comments to you based on your appearance, or some other quality you can't control. I know what it's like to work in the service industry and get the brunt of someone's unhappiness just because they got in your line that day. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of a rant at hospital because the parent just. can't. take it.

I also know what it feels like when a customer is sweet to you. Or a patient's family brings your staff coffee. Or when a stranger tells you you look nice today.  And ask yourself, which one would you rather be on the receiving end of?


I share these stories because they were a little reminder to me of one of my favorite sayings:

and I hope they are a reminder for you, too.